Decisions decisions

Today the weather was fine here in GroveAtopia, so of course we were outside in the garden.  And in the garden this is the time of year for decisions.

Until now we've been able to ignore the garden and pretend nothing was happening out there all winter.  But now, we've had enough fine weather that we can no longer ignore the simple fact that indeed there have been things happening out there and now is the time to face them.

We've been doing a windshield survey of the situation gazing out the window now and then over the past few weeks, trying to assess the situation.  We had that awful week of weather from somewhere else, where the temperatures were in single digits.  What made it through and what didn't?

By now you thought you had a pretty good idea what the answer is.   The ceanothus did not make it.  But the forsythia did.  The penstimon didn't make it and that was surprising.  And oh dear, the lavetera looks completely dead.  And you've been nursing that one along for 5 years now.

But today we had the chance to take a closer look.  Yes indeed the ceanothus is gone.  Darn!  It was just starting to look great.  That's a real loss.  The forsythia is unscathed.  Good.  But the lavetera, it looks completely devesated.  You raise the shovel,  ready to uproot it  - but wait!  Look closely.  Leaves!  New ones at the base of the plant!  Oh joy!  Survival!

We make our way down the bed, pulling weed after weed, and yanking on last year's brown grass.  Then it catches your eye.  An unfamiliar clump.  And now comes the decision.  Weed or not?  Pull it or leave it?

You search your mind's eye hoping to find a match.  Have you seen it before?  Last year, what did you do?

Now a real gardener would probably know in an instant what to do, but for the rest of us, these moments of decision can weigh heavily upon us.  If we leave it, and it is a weed, will it transform into one of the vicious ones that, by the time you get around to pulling it will spray millions of its seeds in your garden?

But what if you pull it and it turns out that it was something lovely?  Now that would truly be a tragedy.   Plant by plant we make our decisions as best we can.

Sometimes we make the wrong one as the plant we just dug out by the root shows us the new leaves that we suddenly recognize, but it's too late.  We are saddened and wish we could take it back.  Maybe we can put it back, and maybe it will grow anyway.  Maybe not.

To make up for our error, we may leave that mysterious clump with fresh new leaves - even though we have no idea what it is.  Let's just wait and see.

Then you step back for a moment and take it all in.  Yes some beloved plants died.  Yet others you thought would actually didn't.  We try not to dwell on it and once the job is done, we don't.

But as we are doing it, plant by plant, weed by weed, for a moment we hold a tiny bit of fate in our hands.  Decision by decision we move through the garden rediscovering yet again, just what it is we have growing out there.