Now we all know gun shops are pretty common. Any town can have one. Heck, you can buy a gun in Bi-Mart.
But a machine gun. Now that is quite a different matter. I'll bet most of you, even those of you who've lived in the big city all your lives have never seen a machine gun shop.
But here in GroveAtopia, we see one every day. It's so much a part of the scenery of Main Street, that usually we don't even notice it.
Our children, when they are babies, don't notice it, but we see it slowly unveiled to them as they grow, then perhaps notice the barred windows and ask why, then a little while later, when they can read, they ask entirely different why.
So for those moments, we adults again notice that our Main Street has a machine gun shop. We answer our children's questions as best we can, silently knowing that even though the Constitution says it's okay, it's still Just Not Right. So we wait, until the storefront once again fades into the background.
But then, suddenly out of the blue, there is another reminder.
Radio Mail is Coming! Radio Mail is Coming!
Anyone who listens to KNND has heard this ad. Radio Mail is a coupon book that is mailed to every home in GroveAtopia by the radio station. It contains coupons from our local businesses. If you use the coupon you get to enter into a drawing for a fun prize.
Year after year, the usuals are in the Radio Mail coupon book. Shoestrings, the shoe store on Main Street, Cosmos Cafe, the latest restaurant in the old Coffee Grove building, and many many others.
But this year, Radio Mail had a new coupon. It's from West Coast Machine Guns, our very own Main Street machine gun shop. If you take your Radio Mail coupon into West Coast Machine Guns, they'll give you 1/2 off a second box of ammo, or $20 off any purchase of $150 or more.
Normally the prospect of a "cents off" coupon is exciting. Who doesn't like to save a bit of money?
But face it. This is different. You shouldn't save a bit of money when you are purchasing a machine gun. It should always, always cost at least full price. And so should the ammo.
I don't like the prospect of someone who is a bit short, needing to use a coupon to finally, finally get that machine gun they've been, what, wanting?? needing??? saving up for??? Why???
I want it to be hard to get a machine gun. And one way to make it hard is to make sure that a machine gun costs every single cent of its price because you and I know there is no good reason to need, want or have a machine gun in GroveAtopia.
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